Loving and Leading your wife…

Hello Husbands,

It can be difficult to keep up with all of the demands on our lives. But if you’re married, and especially if you’re married with children you definitely need to keep your wife at the top of your priority list. As men, we can usually push through the wall of business easier than our wives, and unfortunately forget that they are doing their best to stay at our sides while covered with debris. If we forget to love them in the midst of leading them they can begin to feel like just another thing that we manage and their emotional fuel gauges eventually hit empty.

Leading and loving our wives means WE take the responsibility to carve out time for us to hear from them. We need to protect them from the demands on their lives by lovingly checking in and making sure that they are saying no to things they need to say no to. We to check in and acknowledge and affirm all that they are doing in the home alone while we’re at work with co-workers to relate to and lean on. Here are five great questions that Pastor, Perry Noble, recommends we ask our wives during the time we have carved out to connect with and listen to them.

1.       What is the most romantic thing I have ever done for you?

2.       What is something fun we can do together?

3.       What is one thing I can do this week that will relieve stress from your life?

4.       How can I pray for you?

5.       If you could change one thing about our marriage, what would it be?

Together in the battle,

Pastor Mac 

A Long Obedience… In the Same Direction

                Pastor and professor, Eugene Peterson, has a book by the same title. As much as my Body was built for speed (at least I tell myself that) over short distances rather than endurance over long distances, the Christian life is certainly a marathon. Our senior pastor, Troy Dobbs, recently shared at one of our men’s classes on the process of salvation, and it reminded me of the need to be training our minds on what we believe. He referenced Hebrews 2:3, “how shall we escape if we neglect such a great salvation…” A great salvation indeed, but do I truly appreciate what God has done because I am growing to understand it better, or simply because I have my get out of hell free card?

                As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, I like to reflect on how I’m doing in three areas of my spiritual walk; the head, the heart, and the hands. My heart, in the sense that I know I need to acknowledge my brokenness daily and allow God to continue to transform my will to his. But the head is different and critical to transforming my heart. If I’m not gaining in knowledge and understanding of what God has done for me and what I as a Christian believe, then my heart is more likely to remain stagnant as well.  

                But as I read theology (I recommend Reform Theology), attend seminars, conferences, or men’s classes I challenge my head, which in turn informs my heart. You can look at it as going on the offensive of taking every thought captive by giving your mind great truths of the faith to think and reflect on. For those who find it a challenge to read, there are great pod-casts and audio books on great theology. Use these to expand and deepen your understanding of what God through his Son Jesus Christ has done for you.

                As you do this, you will not only find yourself being more devoted to this God of love, grace, and mercy, but also wanting to put your hands to work in advancing the kingdom. We need men to man up and willing to get their hands dirty for the cause of Christ. Ironically, a great understanding of the core tenets of the Faith offers great motivation to put our hands to work. When men have all three, the head, the heart, and hands active in following and serving God, the long obedience doesn’t seem quite so long. Blessings to you with staying in the same direction of the call God has on your life.

Recommended authors

                John Piper

                Mark Driscoll

                R.C. Sproul

Recommended websites

                theresurgence.com

                nicenecouncil.com

For the Cause,

Pastor Mac

THE CORE OF THE MATRIX…

I was in seminary when the first Matrix movie came out and I enjoyed it for all kinds of theological and philosophical reasons; the fighting wasn’t bad either. The core issue for the main character Neo, was that if he was living in a world created by machines, he couldn’t stand the thought that he wasn’t in control of his life. Neo had to have the ability to choose in order for life to have meaning. In the real world, God certainly grants us the ability to makes choices, but ultimately we are followers of something or someone, and therefore slaves to that person or thing.

The word slave can be a tough descriptor to fall under. But anyone who has been a follower of Christ for any length of time knows that in order to live for God requires dependence on the power of the Spirit to get it done. Hence, we are dependent on His guidance and work in our lives. Did you catch that word, dependent? The Apostle Paul wrote in Romans 6, “But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves of God, the fruit you get leads to sanctification and its end, eternal life.” (ESV) Did you catch that word, slave?

Non-believers are also slaves… to whatever they give themselves to. The end of naturalism is determinism. Every action within secular humanist philosophy is determined by the cause and effect relationship. The atheist living by the laws of nature has to acknowledge that if there is no God everything that happens is dependent on previous occurrences. Even the philosopher of human freedom Jean-Paul Sartre had to acknowledge later in life that we are “conditioned” beings. Human beings have no control over our place and date of birth, who our parents and siblings are, or if we grow up wealthy or poor. The atheist is also a slave to that which he or she claims ultimate allegiance to in order to live in the context handed to him or her.

Rather than surrendering our lives to Christ, Men often succumb to religion because it gives us a feeling that we are in control of our lives. What I mean by Religion is the belief that we can do enough good things or at least not do enough bad things to merit heaven when we die. We want ultimate control or our lives, but as I stated above, every human being who has ever lived on this little planet is dependent and ultimately a slave to something.

Therefore, freedom really only comes when we surrender our will to the eternal and infinite God of the universe. Only through the One, True God can we exist in world without boundaries if we’re living by the Spirit of God. “But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law” (Galatians 5:18). That one little verse says more about the freedom offered in God through Jesus Christ then much of the rest of the Word. And it is a welcome reminder to me when struggling with temptation that to follow the Spirit of God is the only real freedom there is.

Have you surrendered?

On the offensive

Dads, if we are to be obedient to Ephesians 6:4 and train up our children in the knowledge of the Lord it will take intentionality and creativity, mixed with a lot of dependence on the Lord. With life moving at the speed of light it’s hard just to find time, let alone create an environment in which our children will actually pay attention, to say nothing of what to cover.

My situation is that I have two sons, 10 and 8 and my girls are 5 and 3. I first attempted to do family devotions after dinner with the whole family, but almost went insane because I encouraged them to ask questions and my 5 year old Kada kept asking, “why is the grass green,” and “how did God make trees”.

After doing some praying and brainstorming with my wife we decided to divide and conquer due to the differences in age, I would spend most of the time with the boys in the evening between 3 to 4 nights a week.
My wife spends most nights with our daughters reading children’s books and children’s Bibles.

Last year I read through Genesis and most of Exodus with my sons, we dipped out after it began listing the measurements for the tent of meeting. We’ve since moved onto Matthew. However, back while I was working through Genesis with them one night I went to my bed and felt convicted that reading and memorizing the Word wasn’t enough. So I prayed and reflected a bit and wrote out three phases of discipleship that I am currently implementing with my sons. It goes like this…

Phase 1 - In the Word: I read a chapter with them and I pick out one or two verses a week for memorization. The great thing about kids is their ability to memorize is far better than ours, so don’t be afraid to push them. This gets the Word firmly established in their young impressionable minds.

Phase 2 – Theology & Great Books: I know theology sounds academic. But it is the study of God and how He interacts with us. Therefore, phase two is helping my children understand what God is saying to us through the verses they are memorizing. In other words, it’s helping them get the Word from their heads to their hearts. It is especially effective to share personal stories of how God has worked in our lives. This helps make God, and His Word real for our kids at an early age. Also, don’t underestimate great books, and their ability to work as an ally in sharing biblical truth. The Chronicles of Narnia, and the Lord of the Rings are but a couple of great series that kids love.

Phase 3 – Putting it into Practice: Lastly, now that we have the text in our children’s minds, and are working at getting it to sink into their hearts. We can devise a strategy to help our kids live out the truth that they are internalizing. Brainstorm with them how you can put what you’ve taught and they’ve learned into action, as James says, “faith without deeds is dead.” Kinda like a screen door on a submarine. Dads, may God richly bless you as you bring your children up in the knowledge and instruction of the Lord!